Alpha, Beta and Gamma Males - Choosing The Right One
Your perky young eggs are ripe, girlfriend, and you're wanting to share them with an amazing man who will stir you, care for you, provide for you and be a good father to your children. But you keep choosing testosterone-charged men who are the opposite of this or, at least, males who fall far short of your ideal, as do all your female friends.
You wonder what's going wrong - is it that there are no suitable males around or is it that you are choosing wrongly? The truth is that suitable males do exist and it's up to you (and all women) to do two things - learn what sort of males make the best long-term mate for you and then make your decision to choose rationally.
There are three types of males on the testosterone continuum - Alpha males (with highest testosterone levels), Beta males (with the lowest level) and, in the middle, Gamma males. You may know that testosterone builds muscle mass, increases strength and stamina and fuels aggression. Men have around ten times more circulating testosterone than women and it's a large, determining factor in their makeup.
Alpha Males
These highly charged men are more ruled by their chemistry than the others - highly masculine features and strong bodies, they have speed and power but not staying power, generally. They are quickly into the bedroom and quickly out of your life. They'll play the submissive-dominant game, acting submissive to secure sex and then switching to dominance. They can be quick to anger (even abuse), reckless, promiscuous and slow to commit. They are often seen as the 'bad boys' and look exciting, till you get to know them when their greatest excitement is which of your friends they can target for sex. Have fun with them but don't expect fidelity or constancy.
Beta Males
These men have the lowest resting testosterone levels and are the opposites of the Alphas. They have little spark, energy and tend towards submission full-time. They can be known for complaining a lot, doing little and being passive-aggressive. These men are your last pick, girls.
Gamma Males
These males have the best of both worlds - enough energy to thrill you in bed and make your life interesting and exciting, with enough balance to recognise there are other people in the world with feelings. With a balance of testosterone, they also have a balanced view of life - they give respect, money, focus and tenderness to those they love. They tend to enjoy looking after you and do not expect to 'go Dutch' anywhere. They are happy to share the power and control in a partnership and will, when necessary, take charge and support and encourage. Then, at other times, they'll listen to your needs and ideas and be there for them.
These Gamma males are the pick of the bunch for long-term relationships - you feel proud to be with them and there is always a sense of peace and stability with them … though the testosterone can kick in amazingly when it's needed!
Feminism
Feminism brought many advances and advantages to women in the workplace, in the home and in their perception of themselves. There was, however, one major drawback and that has had repercussions ever since - the consequences of greater sexual freedom. Many women thought that if they had more freedom in their sexual behavior, they would have more freedom in every other area of their lives. The opposite has resulted.
By looking at only one aspect of life, men and women have forgotten the effect their greater sexual freedom has had on the rest of society and on the rest of their lives. Since those heady, free-love days, we have, for the first time in America:
- Married couples in the minority,
- More females are left to raise children on their own,
- STD rates are up, and
- The number of healthy families are falling.
Historically, men have been the hunters and women have been the hunted, in the sexual game. The man's part in the biological game is to spread his seed to as many willing females as he can, in order to increase the population of humans on the planet. Women's part, on the other hand, has been to be selective or discriminating about all the hovering males. The female must choose the best males to mate with, to create the best possible offspring. In sort, males deal with quantity while females work on the quality part of the population equation. Therefore, men have always been promiscuous as is their duty to the human survival process.
Therefore, feminism meant that men did not change - women did. Women decided, in the fervor of the freedom days, that they could mate with anyone and, at the time, it all seemed to be a lot of fun. It probably was fun but the fallout has been a drop in the quality of family life and a drop in the quality of relationships. Women, by telling men they are freely available, have effectively asked men to devalue them. Men, with typical testosterone-driven enthusiasm, have leapt into bed with anyone and everyone, with no intention of creating lasting commitment or responsibility.
Sorry to tell you all this, girls, but it's down to you to bring us back to a time when you were valued as a long-term prospect and not just a one-night jump in the hay. If we want to have more stable families, we need more stable relationships. To have that, we need people to be taking relationships more seriously and to be taking each other more seriously.
You are not an island, honey, and everything you do affects someone else … sometimes many more people than you ever realise. So, before you take off after yet another male, I'd suggest you ask yourself three questions:
- What kind of world do you want to live in?
- How do you want to be treated?
- How do you want your children - and children in general - to be treated?
You females uphold the morals of a society, so the future of the society depends on you. |
These articles were written for Kongit Farrell, USA, as summaries of her book, She's Worth The Chase
Are You Ready For Marriage?
Being married is a lot like getting married. When you first meet there are fireworks and you're both on your best behavior - everything is passion and perfection. Then you decide to get married and that sounds wonderful for a while … until you have to organise the wedding and, then, there are a million little, tedious things to do and not all go the way you want. Then, after it's all over, you relax into each other's arms, on the honeymoon and wonder how you managed it all.
Being married is a similar story - it starts with fireworks and passion on the honeymoon and then you come home and slowly, very slowly, the passion creeps away while you decide how to organise yourself and reorganise each other. You need to accommodate your different tastes, moods, behaviors and different everything else. The drudgery sets in and you wonder where the sexiness and sweetness went. Then eventually you realise the passion never went away - it just got shunted out while you were organising each other. The passion never actually goes away and slowly, very slowly, it merges into something that is indescribable - we may call it respect, understanding, care and compassion. It's a softer kind of passion and it lasts. Excitement is fine in small doses but it's exhausting. Contentment we can handle each and every day and that's where we come to, eventually.
So often, before marriage, we're looking for the sparks, the bodily magnetism and the palpitating heart-beats. But this is not what lasts and we wonder why. If you're looking for the constant "rush" in relationship, you'll certainly get it, girl, but you won't get it for long. And anyone you meet who gives you that rush - and nothing else - will be gone just as quick.
Beyond the passion is the respect, the acceptance of differences and the contentment. Getting that all together, for the long term, takes a lot of work … probably more work than anything else you do in this lifetime. A large part of that work is realising that the commitment to marriage is probably the biggest decision you will ever have to make and it's about being proud and content with someone else twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Another part of the work is deciding beforehand:
- What kind of role, if any, do you plan to play in the marriage?
- What do you have to offer and contribute?
- What can you do to prepare yourself for this responsibility of a lifetime?
With this self-knowledge firmly in your psyche, you're ready for the mate of your dreams - the mate who will bring both passion and contentment.
Being ready for marriage is not just about having the perfect dress, the amazing cake, the unforgettable event and the memorable party afterwards. Being ready for marriage is having the perfect certainty of who you are, the amazing realization that it's for the long-term, the unforgettable commitment to yourself and your mate and also the memorable moments of love remembered more than any others.
For more information on Kongit Farrell, or to find out about coaching sessions,
please visit her website at iEvolveTS.com |
The Meta Rules of Nature
I prefer to ride the horse in the direction it's going - it's much easier and it's what I want for you. That's why I wrote She's Worth The Chase, so you could learn the rules of the universe, discover what direction the horse is going and find yourself the perfect relationship, the perfect man for you and your children, for the rest of your life. If you haven't found the right male yet, you're not alone for, without an awareness of the rules of the universe and how to use them, most girlfriends are struggling with unsuitable men, just like you.
You see, there are certain basic rules in the universe and they cannot - will not - be changed. I'm sorry, honey, but the universe ain't gonna change itself to fit the funny little rules you've made up. The universe is bigger than you and I and the sooner we learn how it works (and how to take advantage of these rules for ourselves) the easier it's gonna be for everyone.
For example, gravity is a law. You're a good person and if you throw yourself off a high-rise building, you'll drop to the ground just as fast as a bad person. Gravity does not discriminate between good and bad, black and white, men and women - it works equally on us all. No matter how you demand that gravity stop pulling you down, it's going to keep pulling you down as long as your tush points backwards.
Now, let me explain the first basic universal law and then, in later articles, we can get down to more specific laws (and ways of working with them) so that you can find the perfect long-term male for you.
The World Will Not Change For You
No matter how much protesting, praying, fighting and negotiation we do, the world will not change. When Jesus was alive there were good, bad, sick, healthy, lying, cheating and honest men around. Over 2,000 years later we've got good, bad, sick, healthy, lying, cheating and honest men around. Nothing has changed. We're all born into the same world of good and bad, cheating and honest people and yet some men and women are happy and successful and some are fearful and frustrated.
We all live in the same world, honey, and the only difference between us is how we see that same world. Some see the good bits and some see the bad bits. The world ain't gonna change (did I already say that?) and the only thing that can change is you … or your perception of the world.
Learn the rules of the universe, ride the horse in the direction it's going, and your life cannot help but become sweeter and easier. The choice is yours, girl. Keep reading if you want it to get better.
Biological Realities
As per the previous article, The Meta Rules of Nature, the universe (or nature) is bound by certain rules and no one - no, not even you, honey - is going to change them. So your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to learn the rules and discover how to use them to your advantage. Then, and only then, will you be able to find the right man, the Gamma Male, who is going to be the perfect mate for you and your children, for the rest of your life.
The first rule, from the previous article, was that the world will not change for you. The next two rules are:
1. Leopards Do Not Change Their Spots
If your boyfriend, partner, husband (let's call him your man) is disrespectful or abusive to you once, He. Will. Do. It. Again. Dr Phil McGraw says that past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. If your man has embarrassed or insulted you in public, He. Will. Do. It. Again. If he has broken a promise, been unfaithful or hurt you once, He. Will. Do. It. Again. No matter how many promises he makes to mend his ways, no matter how many tears he cries in shame for what he did, no matter how many flowers he bought to say he's sorry, He. Will. Do. It. Again.
The only exception is where he's doing something different to change his behavior. If he's spending money and going out of his way to discover the causes of his behavior, and to change it - like going to a counsellor, therapist or 12-step program or something else that gets past the promises, tears and flowers - he may do it again and again but with less and less frequency, till the bad stuff stops.
But if he's just promising and changing nothing else … He. Will. Do. It. Again. And you'd better ask yourself if you want that for you and the children you'll have together, and for the next 30 or 40 years of your life.
2. You Are In Charge
I'm not sure if you realise this but you're in charge of your life. You're also the one who chooses the relationship.
Historically, the mating dance between the sexes goes as follows: males scout and court the females they are interested in having sex with. The females then put the males through a series of tests to demonstrate their mental, physical and masculine strength and abilities. The winner of these tests gets to fertilize the female, the loser does not.
You're the female and you are the one who gets to decide which male you mate with. In nature, whether you're a bald eagle, a wolf or a human, it is the female who has the right and the discernment to decide which is the best male to partner her for life and to help in raising their offspring.
This is a law of nature and when you go against that law - having sex and relationships with men you don't really want to - you end up in unhappy relationships and with an unhappy life. The choice is yours, girl - choose your life and your mate wisely and the universe will be a happier place. |
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